When we experience overwhelming emotions, it can be a real challenge to keep our perspective and make helpful choices. Interestingly, researchers have found that it only takes about 90 seconds to release the pure energy of an emotion. The problem is that we often continue to replay the story or memory attached to that emotion, which keeps us stuck in a distressing feedback loop.
So how can we break this pattern? First, I find it helpful to remind myself that an emotion is really just energy that wants to be moved out and released. E-motion=energy in motion. Just knowing this allows me to gain a bit of perspective and drop some of the panic about big emotions. I also remind myself of the 90 second rule by telling myself something like, “This will pass (quickly!) as long as I don’t continue to replay the story of it in my mind. 90 seconds to freedom! I can do that!” And when I’m in the midst of a challenging emotion, I use the following process to ‘Ride the Wave’ until the feeling moves out and through:
Name it to tame it. Just putting words to the emotion releases some of the charge. (“I feel really anxious right now!”)
Lean into it. I know, this feels counterintuitive, but stay with it and try to trust the process. Allow yourself to really feel the sensation of that emotion, knowing that while it may be uncomfortable, it’s not dangerous. (“This is just energy in motion working its way out.”)
Ride the wave. Wherever you feel that emotion in your body (belly, fists, jaw, throat), imagine that it is rising up and cresting, like a wave. By doing this, you’re creating a pathway to allow the energy to move through. (As the saying goes, “The only way out is through.”)
Observe as it recedes. Just as a wave crashes into the shore and recedes back out to sea, your powerful emotion will, too. Feel the calm that re-enters your body as the charge is released.
Once you’ve experienced the natural rise and fall of a pure emotion (without story attached) you’ll likely feel surprise (and relief!) at how simple this process can be. And while “riding the wave” can help us move through the overwhelming sensation of emotion in the moment, it’s important to add that it doesn’t negate the need for deeper inner work that helps us to identify the beliefs, thoughts, or patterns that may have triggered the emotion in the first place. I find that if I can allow myself to release the powerful charge of an emotion, I am then freed up to move forward to my “next right step” with greater clarity, calm, and perspective.
Wishing you well as you learn to gracefully surf the inevitable waves of this life!
Namaste,
~Dr. Abby Ampuja
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